Musings Of Sourire d’Marie

Meaningful and Multilingual Storytelling of Faith, Travels, Classroom Teaching Chronicles and All Things in Between!

Our ordered desires: The mirror of God’s heart

Why share with Jesus what I really really want if at the end of the day He has the final say after all??

I had often wondered about this earlier in my spiritual journey but I have discovered along the way that it was not entirely true.  

In 2018, I began journeying with a Spiritual Director out of my longing to take time for some intentional discernment about a particular area of my life. As I journeyed with her, my prayer life began to blossom and the seeds of time spent in God’s word began to take deep roots but there was a weed in the way: the image (s) I had of God which affected my ability to share my deepest desires with Him. 

I had often pictured God as “the Boss” who had the last word; if He said SO, it was SO. Honestly, my own woundedness was coming to the surface but more than that He was revealing the wound because He wanted to heal it. When I received the invitation to share with Jesus what I really wanted, it was difficult because of my own fear of being disappointed and not receiving what I had asked for. In that season of my life, it felt real. I often wondered: would I come back empty handed?? This became an obstacle to growing in deep intimacy with Jesus. If I was inauthentic in the secret place of prayer bringing my desires, my dreams, my heartaches ect., how could I be authentic in a world that seeks to conform me to its standards and ideals?

And so my Spiritual Director continued to nudge me to be vulnerable with the Lord in prayer without holding back. It was not easy at first to be honest but with every given opportunity, I was challenged to be before the Lord like a kid who came out of the womb naked without shame. I began to realize that nothing indeed was too small to ask Jesus. He cares so much about me, that every single thing that matters to me matters to Him as well. The more I took a bold step in asking, the deeper my trust grew and the fear of disappointment began to subside little by little. Long and behold years later, even when I am praying for others, even for nations I began to ask God for tremendous things, for what seemed impossible. 

I don’t have it all down perfectly but I know that He is healing my heart and He is renewing my mind. I don’t know where you are with God right now and what you want to ask Him that you have been hesitant about. Today, I invite you to share your heart with God without filters. Like He asked the blind man in Mark 10:51 “What do you want me to do for you ?”. He is asking you the same question.

Be bold.  Simply ask and let Him surprise you!

See you in the Eucharist, 

Sourire

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