Have you ever seen a potato trying to be an apple? out of a simple desire of wanting to fit the mold?

When I was a kid, I struggled to feel like I belonged. I remember often staying on my own from my peers yet I longed to be able to relate to them on different levels. I was often seen with the mother’s heart which is a true gift yet I longed to simply be a child or a teenager. What would that look like in reality? 

After graduating from Community College, the reality of my struggle to feel like I belonged as a transfer student became even more real. It was difficult and the ache in my heart became even greater. 

But in the Fall of 2017, EVERYTHING changed. One Saturday afternoon while I was away with a group from the university, I was praying with the Mass scriptures by this beautiful waterfront. The first reading struck something deep within my heart. The letter of St Paul to the Ephesians chapter 2 verses 19-20 talked about being citizens of God’s household. Suddenly, I felt as if the Lord was saying to me: I am part of his household; therefore I belong!. That day, this scripture washed away all the lies I believed about not belonging, all the striving I have done all these years to feel like I had to adjust in order to fit in. It was not an overnight fix nor was it easy but I can tell you from that day, something shifted in my heart. I began to stop saying that I didn’t feel like I belonged because what comes through my lips is a mirror of what is going on in my heart. 

The reality of this healing began to be revealed in my day to day life. A couple of years later, when I moved to a different state, living in community with three other fellow service teammates became tangible proof of God’s healing. I was not afraid to be myself or to do things that I desired. I stopped projecting on others my struggle as if it was their fault. One day, I was on the phone with my aunt during my time of service and she remarked as I shared with her something, that had it been before I would say that I did not belong. But, this was different. She could see the fruit of this encounter with Jesus in the scriptures.

So my dear one, if you are struggling with feeling like you don’t belong, be reminded today that the Lord sees you and He carries you in his heart tenderly. 

This is the truth: You are Citizen of God’s household therefore you belong! Ask Him to root this truth deep in your heart. 

See you in the Eucharist, 

Sourire