Asking others for anything has always felt like going uphill backwards because it stretches me so much. Quite frankly, it has to do with my pride. The fear of asking others for whatever is often rooted in my fear of being disappointed. What if I ask and my need is not met? What if I ask and I am rejected?

Am I the only one out there? Anybody?

I hope I am not alone in this. Well, I have carried this deep seated fear even in my relationship with Jesus. I would be afraid to ask for what I need or even more afraid to express my desires, my true desires. I had this view that God is sovereign! He commands, therefore, there is no room for me to share with Him what I desire, need or would like. 

The Lord began to shake this cloudy view that I had of Him little by little.  Does it mean that everything I ask for  I will receive it? or even will I receive it in the way I imagine? Definitely not! But one thing I am sure of is that no ordered desire, want, need brought to his ears goes unheard. So I began to be more and more honest with Jesus but also with others. I began to ask for the big and small things. Honestly, this has been a real journey of humility to lay down my heart which I had protected for so long. It has shattered the false reality that I can do all things on my own or even provide all the things that I need for myself. Self-reliance at its core as you can see! 

Earlier this month, I asked the Lord for something that I really needed. After a very difficult year teaching at a new institution last year, I could not fathom myself going back without having a classroom where I could sit down and do my job. So in prayer, I asked the Lord if He would provide me with a classroom where I could consistently teach from. Would he provide it? I didn’t know but I asked Him. 

Not long after, the thought came to my mind that I needed to intentionally make my need known to admins. So I emailed my principal and laid out my need. Well my friends,  she replied on August 11, letting me know that all of my classes will be in the same classroom. 

Youpi! Praise the Lord! He saw my need and provided me with G01 to teach this year. This is one of many stories of the Lord’s provision in my own life. 

My dear one, what do you desire? What do you need and have yet asked the Lord? and of course wait upon Him!

Be not afraid because you simply need to ask! 

See you in the Eucharist, 

Sourire